If you have never had anxiety, you may think I have lost my mind. When you have a normal anxiety reaction, often being with people, talking to people, etc actually helps make you less anxious. In a scary situation you would call for help. If you are feeling lonely you might call a friend or make a lunch date.
When you have anxiety…..the asking for help, calling and talking to people can make you more anxious than the anxiety inducing situation itself. Totally weird and totally true (at least for me). I want to talk to people but the thought of picking up the phone makes me want to barf. (I’m sure my parents think this is amazing since I spent my teenage years glued to the telephone.) Both my mom and my dad have questioned if I am mad at them because I never call. I think they both think I call the other one…..compare notes it’s not you, it’s me.
Maybe the computer has made it easier for me to give in to my crazy. I can text, tweet, email and FB with people without any issue. It allows me to insulate myself behind the keyboard while still feeling connected. I talk to friends far and wide more than I ever have before. Unfortunately, though, some people don’t live their life on the computer. I only say unfortunately because that means I don’t talk to them very often. It’s sad and I do make an effort but….
Yeah. You could offer me $10,000 in exchange for talking on the phone and I would think before I said yes. I would still say yes because I’m not THAT crazy but it would take a minute for me to decide.
This weekend I am spending a wonderful weekend at the spa. Coming here, I was anxious about having a roommate, the ins and outs of going to the spa, what you were supposed to wear, do….pretty much everything. Now that I am here I realize that it was totally silly but still totally real. Thankfully the more I push myself out of my comfort zone, the less I listen to that inner voice.
See, I told you that you would think I’m crazy.
So why am I even letting you see in to the deep, dark, crazy that is my mind? To let you know that it is ME not YOU. And I don’t think I’m the only one. If you have a friend that you haven’t heard from in a while, don’t assume it is because they suddenly don’t like you any more. Maybe it is anxiety. Maybe they are going through a tough time. Maybe a lot of things.
You just never know because all those happy pictures on FB, Twitter, etc can hide a LOT. Believe me, I know.
Want an idea of what anxiety feels like? A friend sent me the link to this cartoon that totally explains how it feels!