In a few days, Evan and I will be boarding a plane to wing our way back to Alabama to visit my family. Every time we make this trip it is with mixed feelings for me.
You see, I love my family dearly but I am very different from when I lived there. I haven’t lived in Alabama since I graduated university in 1999. That is 17 years (gawd I’m old)! Since then I have had a career in chemical engineering then in sales and then quit my job to be a work at home mom. Oh yeah and I gained a husband, a kid, two step kids and a dog too. So I’m a different person completely.
The crazy thing is, though, that as much as I’m different, some things have never changed. Going homes puts me back to my days feeling like an inadequate teenager. I still have crazy things running through my head like:
- I’ve gained weight. People are going to think I’m fat!
- What if people want to talk politics? I just can’t!!!! I can’t understand this whole Trump fascination.
- Does everyone have guns? I hear a lot about guns in the US. Should I ask if people have guns before Evan is in their house? Guns scare me…should I be worried. And GUNS! Ack.
- Will people be offended if I ask about guns?
- Will my dad make fun of my short, red hair? (he hates my hair short and red. Both may be a new low)
- Did I mention that I’m fat?
- What if I see my friends who hate me now because I am “anti-American”. *facepalm* (And for the record, I am not anti-American. I am anti- Americans acting badly in foreign countries while wearing American flags.)
I have obviously lost my mind. How is it that visiting home can make you feel like you are 16 and in high school again? One minute you feel like you are a confident, strong woman and then BOOM….you are a teenager again.
So next week, think of me and send me a little grown up wisdom. So that I can remember that I am just fine and awesome and all that jazz. So that I can remember that I am no longer in high school.
Because I must admit, I really need it. Do you have something that takes you right back to your teenage years?